The nature of life is to throw you a curve ball, the secret to success is to roll with it and not let it throw you off your game. People's attitudes about trust originate in their families of origin and are impacted by their adult relationships. Why is it that we don't get upset when a cup of coffee does not make itself, but we might get upset if someone else does not make us a cup of coffee? To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. Can our expectations be based on a rational moral compass? We can't blame people for disappointing us; we can blame ourselves for expecting too much. You deserve it. In that situation I talked about earlier when I walked in my boyfriends house and didnt get the hug and greeting I was hoping for- I sat down and was pouting a bit and he asked me what was wrong, and I told him. The inventory was ours, not the other mans. Maybe you have heard the saying, Expectations are premeditated resentments. Apparently, this statement originated in 12-step programs (possibly from the AA Big Book). Has any child? Your personal stuffs excellent. According to Steve Lynch, believing that a non-verbalized expectation will bring you what you want is magical thinking and is unrealistic. As the father of four sons, I would agree that we should set standards for our children. As long as no one is in my personal space, Im kind of in my own bubble. She looks surprised. Same thing with phone calls- if I called you and left a message and two or three days went by without a response, the committee would immediately start telling me that you dont like me anymore. When those unfulfilled expectations involve the failure of other people to behave the way we expect them to, the disappointment also involves resentment. Bill Wilson made this point very clear in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. Prayer can be a form of magical thinking. We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. I always say, let things unfold. We can't blame people for disappointing us; we can blame ourselves for expecting too much. This is really obvious when we are talking about my morning beverage. If you keep everything to yourself then you dont get to be mad. When really, they probably didnt even realize it. We wouldnt treat sick people that way. Recovery Related Acronym A B C = Acceptance, Belief, Change. Hey There. So the implication is that holding onto anger is a dangerous game. Maybe you have heard the saying, "Expectations are premeditated resentments." Apparently, this statement originated in 12-step programs (possibly from the AA Big Book). AA Big Book - Pg. The AA basic text makes clear the impact that resentment plays in our recovery: It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. The Big Apple: "Expectations are premeditated resentments" How Personality Can Predict Problematic Marijuana Use, The Role of Childhood Emotional Neglect in Borderline Personality, A Powerful Way to Improve Our Relationships, Is Watching Pornography a Form of Cheating? Phone: 403-243-7348. Expecting a certain response from someone or a certain greeting when you walk in the room- expecting an outcome that you pre-determine in your head. A colleague shared an example about how she listened to a friends problems for years, even though it was very difficult, because she expected her friend to do the same for her when she wanted to talk about her problems. Expectations are Premeditated Resentments. In A.A. meetings we hear that expectations are premeditated resentments. Expectations - Alcoholics Anonymous - ActiveBoard
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