Grass. Reminder: Please don't include the punchline in the topic. I told him its not polite to fish and tell. Turns out, good players are hard to find. "Sundae school. But 99% of you will never get it. He said, "I tell her about my job.". Whats Forrest Gumps password? What bone will a dog never eat? I poured root beer in a square glass. He was operating a late night train and fell asleep at the controls. Well, when a dad becomes a dad, his sense of humor becomes apparent too. Just got back from a job interview where I was asked if I could perform under pressure. ", "What do you call a belt made of watches?" Subpoena colada. Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? ", "What do you call a pony with a sore throat?" Two guys walked into a bar. TIL in the late 2000s RIM was developing a voice interface to compete with Apples soon-to-be revealed Siri. Thank you all :D I'll be sure to let her read the replies! Day after day the event slowly slipped out of his mind as time went by with no new information whatsoever. I decided not to go as I was tired from the night before where I spent the night looking for the sun. I need. ", "I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. They visit all the patients together, and the old doctor introduces the young one everywhere. That would be a big step forward." "Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!" One evening Jake stole Jokes bag and hid it just at the edge of a forest nearby. What do you call a sick lemon? That's when I woke up, got dressed, grabbed a coke and a donut, and rushed to your office". Two artists had an art contest. "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" I can't believe I have nothing to chauffer it. ", "I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. Inflation. Toad. Nickel-less. I lied about the wheels. Every single day they have fights for their political beliefs in which they spiral out of control. I told her when it comes to humility I'm #1. Something bad is going to happen, I can just feel it. The signature of a dad joke is that it's utterly uncool. An Irishman walks out of a bar. Rhode Island. They're making headlines. Why do bees have sticky hair? How do nonbinary people hurt each other? "Prime mates. I wondered why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger. But I still hear my wifes bickering between songs. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice. But I didnt end up going, as there was stairs I had to ascend. From the bark. ", I was rushing to work this morning and I couldn't find my belt for the life of me. ", "Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? The man replies, "That would be my wife.". Why cant you do that? Are you insane? he responded. He sent her a pee-mail. "The post office! It's impossible to put down! Business hasn't been too good lately, so the boss decides he needs to fire one of them.